Just Say No: Rooms That Need Rehab
Welcome to the first installment of “Just Say No.” As I search the MLS each week, I occasionally run across rooms like this that need serious intervention. A room in a high-end home that costs more than most of us could ever dream of owning. A room that would’ve been perfectly lovely if it hadn’t been for the paint or decorating choices its owners have made.
So I’ve decided to post some of them here as cautionary tales for anyone who may be tempted to try painting their vaulted ceilings and fireplace mantels the color of Pepto Bismal. I don’t care if you’re getting peer pressure from your best friend Barbie who thinks pink is always appropriate–just say no. Painting the wood beams in your ceilings a color like this is like a gateway drug, leading to untold disasters in all the other rooms of your home.
This is a kitchen in a million-dollar home that apparently also serves as cold storage for any guests who may not make it through dinner (what is that wall of doors on the back wall about, anyway? I’m guessing some sort of built-in refrigerator?). I can’t help but think that this is where those sweet old ladies from “Arsenic and Old Lace” would live in a modern remake of the Cary Grant classic.
Just say no to wicker rockers in kitchens and floral wallpaper on the ceilings, while we’re at it, too.
Next up: an example of “contemporary decor” gone awry. Those window treatments are what push it over the edge for me. Is it me, or do they look like they were made from Elvira’s castoffs? And is the carpet…black? For only $2.5 million, it can be yours!
Since we started with a room that shouldn’t have been painted pink, we’ll close with another. The dining room below is in an elegant historic mansion. And who knows, maybe this color of pink is accurate for the time period and I’m too ignorant to know it, but I wish they could’ve been a little more . . . subtle with their paint choices. It makes it hard to see the beautiful woodwork in here–and makes me wish I had enough money to buy this home and rescue it:
What do you think? Which is the worst decorating offender? Do you think I was too harsh with any of them? Is there anyone who didn’t have to reach for an Advil after staring at this pink dining room?
If You’re Hooked on Rooms That Need Rehab:
February 12th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
mmm no, generally “pepto” is not the right color when you’re doing “Arts & Crafts” style house .Although I’d definitely need it after seeing that gem!
February 12th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Hmmm… Those curtains sorta look like moss or something from the angle that picture was taken.
February 13th, 2008 at 1:40 am
Loved your running commentary of the rooms. I got my chuckle for the day. Thanks!
February 13th, 2008 at 9:00 am
The photos and comments are great. I hope you are making lots of $$$ with this blog. It is worth it.
The Heath Ledger post was the best thing I saw on his death. Only $23,000.00 per month for a nice little place in New York, and we complain about Cincinnati rent!
February 13th, 2008 at 9:21 am
Gabe–
Nope, I’m afraid this is just a labor of love. I’m glad you enjoy it! -Julia
February 13th, 2008 at 10:04 am
I have discovered that ugly is not restricted to poor people. In fact, I see a lot of rich people with ugly stuff. Maybe it is because they get bored with pretty since they have so much of it. I watch Runway on TV and a lot of the fashions are just pure awful.
I love to see what you consider nice and what you see as awful. It makes me think my taste is not all that bad.
February 13th, 2008 at 10:54 am
Boy, would I have coveted that dining room when I was seven years old. What a great post, Julia!
February 13th, 2008 at 11:03 am
What do you think? Which is the worst decorating offender?
Holy Crap, how can one possibly choose?!?
Without more details, I think I’d have to vote for the top photo, because I can imagine all the work that would it would take to re-do that (previously) beautiful ceiling. A close runner up would be the kitchen with the morgue drawers. Seriously - what ARE those? I’ve never seen a fridge like that. Maybe it’s some sort of freezers?
At least with the contempo room the walls are still white and can be saved. And that dining room only needs new paint. Thank GOD they didn’t damage that classic woodwork.
Gary you are so right on - ugly is definitely equal opportunity along the economic scale. My other half does interior design and sometimes the people with the most money have the worst taste.
February 13th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
What is with the 3 light chandelier in the pepto dining room? Apparently then spent all of their energy painting the walls and didn’t have anything left to replace the light fixture.
or, maybe they did…
February 13th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
I was puzzled by the DR light fixture, too, DAK. The odd thing about that house was that it had been meticulously restored to its former glory, and all the other rooms were gorgeous. Not sure if they just hadn’t gotten around to this one yet or what.
Irishof–
I think I agree with you, that the contempo room was the least offensive since it could be easily rescued with new window treatments, carpet and furniture. The pink vaulted ceilings in the family room would be murder to remedy, though. I’ve painted ceilings before and it’s no fun!
Cindy K–
it does look like a 7-year old’s idea of a pretty dining room. My daughter would love it!
February 13th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Yikes, each room was worse than the one before! Money definitely does not buy good taste. Lovin’ your blog girl, thank you! Tracey
February 22nd, 2008 at 9:01 am
last weekend I had a friend come to visit, and she rented a condo that she had seen on vrbo. It looked great from the pictures, however, what we didn’t realize was the entire place was painted black! walls and ceilings. My friend lasted one night there due to the way it made her feel, as if she was drugged. The glare from the lights against the black walls made you feel dizzy and sick. We both had headaches from being in there. It just goes to show that color choice can have a major impact on your mental and physical being.
February 22nd, 2008 at 9:24 am
Oh, wow, TraceyB, I can’t believe that! I’ve rented condos off the vrbo site before and would die if I got there and it was all black. I can understand if that’s their personal style, but if they’re trying to make it appeal to renters, it seems like something a bit more…neutral and normal would be called for! If your friend still has the link to it, pass it along so we can see how they made black look good, at least in the photos! -Julia
February 22nd, 2008 at 6:25 pm
The link for the “Dark Loft” is http://www.vrbo.com/159693 We found out that it was originally supposed to be a bar. Be sure to scroll down and check out the black bathroom with the purple lighting. Not good for applying lipstick.
February 22nd, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Hey, thanks, TraceyB!! It was fun seeing how they decorated with so much black. I see what you mean that it looked nice in pictures but was difficult to actually _live_ in. I owe you one.
March 26th, 2008 at 12:10 am
The “pepto” walls totally ruined all that great woodwork. I am so sad. I couldn’t even study the detail of the wood working because the color was so awful.
The other people almost slid by til I noticed the window treatments that looked like the were melting or something and the color inside th T.V. niche.
yuck…yuck….!!!
March 26th, 2008 at 12:13 am
I am the only one who thought the kitchen would have fit right in on that show “Six Feet Under” that was on HBO.
“If you just happen to drop dead while you are here we have these handy fridges to keep you in good shape til we finish this monopoly game…. I got boardwalk with 2 hotels so we ain’t gonna quit before it’s over…hahaha.”
March 26th, 2008 at 8:32 am
JLB–too funny. A “Six Feet Under”-themed kitchen! Maybe that’s how the real estate agent should bill it.
August 5th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Oh, my. Money really can’t buy taste, can it?
It’s impossible to pick the worst of the lot, but I would have to especially hate the “pink and teal” treatment. My mom ripped out miles of teal carpet when we moved nto our home in the early 60’s to reveal bee-yoot-i-ful oak hardwood floors.
I must admit that Mom was the one who chose pale aqua ceramic tile for our family room, but so far it’s still “unusual” rather than “uuugly”