Hey, everybody! I’m back after spending eight days in the Washington, D.C. area. It was a great trip but, as my daughter Lily said, “It’s good to be home again.”

We took a trolley tour through Georgetown this week because I had to see all the old townhouses there. And of course I elbowed my way into a window seat and snapped pictures as fast as I could. I knew you’d want to see them, too.

Our trolley tour guide called himself “Super Dave” (not to be confused with my Super Dave). He was full of interesting stories and information about the neighborhood. He said the area attracts lots of high-ranking government officials and news-anchor types. I kept hoping to see someone famous walking down the street, but never did. This house, according to Super Dave, was once the home of Henry Kissinger.

Now, keep in mind that I was on a bumpy, narrow street in a trolley as I took these pictures, and the traffic was crazy (cars and buses kept getting in my shots). But I think I got some good ones anyway. Take a look:

Georgetown was founded in 1751 before the city of Washington and the District of Columbia was established. It sits along the Potomac River and was one of the largest cities in Maryland before being assimilated into D.C. in 1871. There are quite a few embassies in the neighborhood, including ones belonging to France, Sweden, and Mongolia. Here’s a row of them that we passed:

In areas where developers wanted to build office buildings or other commercial buildings, they were required to leave the facades of the old houses and build behind them. It kind of fascinated me to see these “false fronts” with contemporary buildings looming behind and above them.

There were lots of little shops and restaurants.

Streetcar tracks were installed in the 1890s but have been out of use since the 1960s. You can still see them here on P Street NW (I didn’t get photos of these because I was on the wrong side of the trolley, so I’m borrowing them from here):

This old stone house, built in 1765, is the oldest surviving building in the D.C. area (on M Street):

Movies that filmed scenes in Georgetown include St. Elmo’s Fire, Dave, Wedding Crashers, and Election. Now I want to go back and watch some of them again.

You can see how close all of the houses were to the (busy) street.

This house is hard to see behind the tree, it’s so tiny. It is basically the width of that pink door and the window to the right of it. It looked like the Spite House to me. Super Dave said it recently sold for around $600,000. So you can just imagine what the bigger townhouses in the area go for!

I hope you enjoyed the tour of Georgetown as much as I did! Do you have a favorite house? I’m kind of partial to the yellow one right here. I think it’s interesting how paint is often the only distinction made to show where one house ends and the next one begins.

I’ve got a lot to post about in the next few days, so be sure to check back often. I wouldn’t want you to miss anything!

If You’re Hooked on Old Houses:

• The Purple Victorian on Lane’s End Farm
• Columbia Tusculum’s Victorian Painted Ladies
• Walking and Gawking in Historic North Avondale
• 1908 Mitchell Mansion on Rose Hill
• The Spite House (only 7′ wide)
• Cobble Court
• Stokesay Court (from the film “Atonement”)
• 1908 Gaslight Mansion
• Mark Twain’s Mansion
• Frank Lloyd Wright’s William P. Boswell House
• Sears Modern Homes: House Kits from Catalogs
• Pheasant-Hill Farm (250 years old)

You guys guessed it! We’re in the Washington, DC, area. We’re staying in Maryland near family but have been taking the train into the city every day to do some major sightseeing. Here we are in front of the Lincoln Memorial.

Here are the kids in the Bishop’s Garden outside the National Cathedral (above). We took a tour with a docent that was really interesting. Did you know it took over 80 years to complete?

Volunteers needlepoint kneeling pads with the names of famous Americans. I snapped Frank Lloyd Wright’s to show you:

Here’s Lily with her Pa Pa in front of the White House (below). There were various protesters hanging around with signs. My favorite was yellow with a big smiley face that said, “HAVE A NICE DOOMSDAY!” Gee, thanks.

That old house I showed you in yesterday’s post was from the historic Georgetown neighborhood. I was up half the night researching real estate listings in that area. There was a house the size of the Spite House (at least it looked that small from the outside) that just sold for $600,000. So it’s safe to say I won’t be moving there any time soon. But hey, a girl can dream.

Here are a few houses on one of the oldest streets in Georgetown. This is where a lot of politicians and news anchor-types live, according to our trolley tour guide:

The office building I showed you yesterday that we were in was the Cannon House Office Building where we picked up tickets and started our tour of the Capitol Building. The Cannon building is the oldest congressional office building, and there’s an underground tunnel that connects to the Capitol Building. The painting I showed you was on the ceiling of the rotunda.

Here’s Jake posing with George Washington–it’s the oldest statue in the Capitol:

We also spent a lazy afternoon exploring Annapolis, which is a short drive from our hotel:

It’s been a great trip. I’ll be back home and posting regularly again soon, I promise.

Even though we’ve been having a lot of fun, I’ve been missing you, my blog friends! I love coming back to the hotel at night and reading the comments you’ve left. It’s so nice to know you haven’t forgotten me while I’ve been gone. I was worried I’d come back to the blog after a week away and everyone would be, like, “Hooked on What? Julia Who?”

See you soon! -J 

It’s been brought to my attention that I haven’t actually mentioned where I’m vacationing at the moment. So, just for fun, here are some pictures from our trip so far. See if you can figure out where we are! In this photo, I’m with Lily and my mom (my parents are traveling with us).

Here we are at an important office building, picking up tickets for a tour of another historical building. Anyone recognize this hallway? How about this famous painting that we took during our tour (below)?

Another clue: it’s been hot as h-e-double hockeysticks while we’ve been here. Seriously. I booked us a trolley tour of the city, thinking we could at least do some sightseeing in air-conditioned comfort. But then, d-oh!, it turns out the trolleys weren’t air conditioned after all. It was a long, hot day…

We hopped off the trolley to take a tour of a beautiful cathedral. Here’s a picture my son took inside:

One of my favorite things was a neighborhood of very old homes. I took lots of photos of them to show you when I get home. Some famous people live in that neighborhood, but, sadly, I didn’t see any. Here’s a peek at the neighborhood:

I bet you’re onto me by now, but take your guess in the comments. When I get back to the computer tonight I’ll post a picture that will leave no doubt as to our whereabouts.

P.S. Several of you told me to call when we got here, but I haven’t had a chance. We’re visiting family members who live in this area and things have been busy since we arrived. My e-mail has also not been working right. I apologize to all of you who haven’t heard from me this week!

I’m still on vacation where it’s hot and I’m sunburned (I apparently forgot the sunscreen on my shoulders yesterday–ouch). Maybe that’s why I’m going crazy over these Big Chill appliances, which look so cool.

Look at this sky-blue fridge and dishwasher. They may look old, but they’re brand spankin’ new. What a fun way to give your kitchen a retro look.

They come in lots of colors. Check ‘em out:

Martha Stewart featured the “Pink Lemonade” fridge in her magazine. (I love Martha, but what’s with that dinky light bulb over the kitchen table?)

I’m really digging this orange one in a contemporary loft space.

And this one just screams, “I belong in Julia’s Beach House!” So…somebody please buy me a beach house so I have a place to put this white fridge.

Thanks to Design Editor for bringing the Big Chill website to my attention first. For more photos of Big Chill retro appliances, go to the photo gallery on their website. There’s plenty to drool over there! They have a line of dishwashers, too, and there are stoves coming soon.

If You’re Hooked on Kitchen Trends:

• Are Stainless-Steel Appliances on the Way Out in 2008?
• Poll Results: Are Stainless-Steel Appliances Out?
• Cheaper Way to Make Old Appliances Look Stainless
• Stainless-Steel Appliances in a 1950s Kitchen
• Retro ’50s Kitchens

Well, guys, here I am, broadcasting from my vacation because I just couldn’t stand to miss the second-to-last recap of the Design Star season. I’m not sure how well I can pull this off with “live TV” (I usually use my DVR to pause the show and take photos and write notes). But for you rabid Design Star fans out there, I’m gonna fly by the seat of my pants tonight and just do the best I can.

Unfortunately, the photo quality is worse than usual since the TV in our hotel room isn’t hi-def, and a lot of them didn’t turn out at all (lots of lines through them), but I figure they’re better than nothing.

Episode #7 starts with Clive giving our final three Designtestants their challenge for the week. We’re down to Matt, Trish, and Jen now, folks. They make one last trip to the so-called work room (where they have never done any actual work, have they?) and take their places behind the paint cans. Clive explains that they will each redesign a room for a family. They will have 26 hours and $10,000.

Who will Jen’s family be? Surprise! It’s her sister Lee in Sioux City, Iowa. Jen tells us how her sister works two jobs and has two kids, so she really, really deserves this makeover.

Trish will be working with her Mom and Dad in Michigan. Trish tells us her mom is an amazing person. Her dad is disabled and her mom took on the role of taking care of the family.

As for Matt, he’ll be redecorating a room in his parents’ house. He tells us, “I’m emotional because we had a family breakup and everyone stopped speaking.”

What? What’s this about? A family breakup?

Well, don’t bother asking for more details because the issue is never brought up again. It’s totally glossed over. He says his mom is a big fan of DS and encouraged him to apply for the show, as if that solved all the problems between them. Not clear whether they’ve been together since the “breakup” or not, so this could be interesting.

Fingers crossed that there might be even a smidge of drama in this episode! (Note: hopes soon to be dashed.)

Matt arrives in Colorado Springs and says, “It really feels like a healing.” He can’t imagine more emotion involved in the challenge for anybody. His design challenge is his mom’s craft room, which she wants to make into a combination game room/craft room. The room is huge. I mean, like, they could play basketball in there.

Jen is doing her sister’s living room. And Trish is going to work magic in her parents’ great room. Her dad requests a recliner because…he’ll sleep in it? It has something to do with his oft-mentioned “condition.” Why wouldn’t he have the recliner in his bedroom in that case? He also wants a Jacuzzi in the room, but I’m pretty sure he’s joking.

Commercial for “Summer Showdown” with HGTV’s top designers and carpenters competing. Ooh! How fun! I’m marking my calendar right now. It’s coming two weeks from tonight. We won’t want to miss that.

Back to DS. Clive lands his helicopter in Michigan to see Trish and tell her “Your time starts now.”

The carpenters show up. Trish asks hers if he’s up for the challenge and he says he “brought a screwdriver.” Um, great. Good to know he came prepared.

She tells him she needs him to lay Pergo laminate flooring and asks if he knows how to do that. He says he has a buddy who does flooring, so he can figure it out. Yeah, that really instills confidence.

They all go shopping. Trish cringes while shopping for a recliner for Dad to sleep on, but Dad needs it since Mom apparently has banned him from the bedroom.

Jen deems her sister’s hardwood floors not worth saving. She talks about finding a carpet store. Carpet?? Please, Jen. No!

Meanwhile, Trish’s carpenter can’t seem to figure out the Pergo, even though he has that buddy who’s good at doing it. Things aren’t looking good for Trish.

Day #2.

Trish goes shopping, leaving her carpenter to figure out the flooring. Trish chooses a “gold-y” color for her parents’ living room that my husband Dave says reminds him of his grandmother’s kitchen (and not in a good way).

Carpet people show up at Jen’s house and report that they don’t have enough carpet to cover the room. Bill the carpenter explains this is how things go in construction sometimes when you “can’t see the trees for the forest.” Which makes no sense at all to me, but maybe that’s because I’m blind to the trees in the forest myself!

Trish gets back and is surprised to find her carpenter has figured out the Pergo!

No. Way.

I don’t believe for a minute that that guy got the entire floor installed while she was gone for an hour to pick up paint, do you? Something’s fishy here. How many real carpenters jumped out of hiding the minute the cameras were off and went to work on that room?

Also smelling like day-old trout: Trish is laying the dark faux-wood laminate floors up to the entry’s light real-wood floor. She appears to have no plan to replace the real-wood floor with the laminate to make it all match.

Yikes. This looks as bad as when she attaches the fake hair on the back of her real hair and calls it a ponytail. This is not classy, Trish. It’s trashy!

Meanwhile, Matt’s stomach hurts because he isn’t finding the furniture he needs and has to go shopping again for chairs tomorrow. Don’t fall apart, Matt. Pop a Pepcid and get your act together. It looks like he’s starting to freeze up like he did when he tried to create a “temple” out of sofa cushions.

It’s Day #3. Carpet guys show up for Jen and she’s psyched that they have enough this time. However, they tell her that it’ll take half the day to get it in and she can’t get in the room to start working on it until they’re done. Not good. Maybe this is a sign that she should LEAVE THE HARDWOOD FLOORS BE. They say the floors are a mess, but they look good enough on TV. You’d think they could do something with them.

Or buy new hardwoods for the room. You have $10,000, Jen! You can’t tell me that cheap microsuede furniture and some paint took all your money already. (Note: I saw the exact furniture at the store I took those photos of the “Fugly Furniture” in a couple months back, so I know it didn’t cost much.)

The designtestants race to the finish as Clive approaches with the dreaded air horn. Their time is up.

They all fly back to DS headquarters. Jen says she wants her own show bad, it hurts. It’s like being able to see her dream right there in front of her but not being able to give it a big hug.

This is the final time they’ll be judged by the esteemed panel: Martha, Cynthia, and Vern. Which two will move on to the final challenge when America will vote for HGTV’s next Design Star?

Jen is up first. She gave her sister’s living room green walls and extra seating—including ones tucked under the coffee table. She handpainted walls in a vine-y pattern that’s pretty cool and may be the only really unique or interesting element in the room.

Martha thinks it looks warmer than before. Vern doesn’t understand why she covered the floors. He’s as perplexed as I am by this decision. The graphic element is one of her signatures, but Vern tells her she doesn’t want to become a one-trick pony. Cynthia loves the walls, though, even if she has hand-painted patterns on walls before.

Matt’s Reveal: His parents love it. They’re crazy about the game table. And his mom never ever would’ve guessed the kiln was behind that wall he put on casters, but it is! It’s right there!

It’s all in earth tones. Very…blah. On the minimal side, as Vern puts it.

I’m disappointed because a game-slash-craft room should really be more fun or something, shouldn’t it? It looks like some sort of executive lounge area to me. Very impersonal and slick.

Oh, Matt, why must you always disappoint me? I had such high hopes for you. I’m starting to think this may be why your family stopped speaking to you.

(I’m kidding. Really. I’m sure this was only part of the reason.)

Vern likes Matt’s solution to hide the kiln. He finds it pretty clever. Martha questions why there are four black leather chairs, which are heavy and dark. He responds that he wanted something…washable? Are you kidding me? This is the best answer you can come up with?

Cynthia isn’t disappointed like Martha and I am, though. Cynthia thinks he did a great job. She thinks it looks effortless. Yeah, like there was definitely less effort involved. I can agree with that.

Vern thinks he did a good job hosting with enthusiasm, though. I’m glad he’s finally getting some kudos for his hosting. I never thought he was as bad at it as they did.

Trish’s Reveal:

Her mom gets weepy. Maybe because Trish put a dark laminate floor that butts up against a regular wood floor that’s in an entirely different tone and color? I know it would make ME weepy if my daughter didn’t have any more sense than that.

Her dad loves his leather recliner since this is where he’ll be spending his days and nights. Group hug.

Sorry, but the “before” picture didn’t turn out. I only have two “afters”:

I wish I had a shot of how bad this new floor looks up against the old in the entry.

Vern thinks she definitely showed she’s a true designer by extending the fireplace to the ceiling and creating vertical space. I wait for him to say BUT–you screwed up by putting two types of flooring in the same room.

I’m still waiting.

Cynthia thinks it’s too “by the textbook.” This is the worst criticism they can come up with? Apparently. Martha loves it. She thinks the name of the room is “new and improved” because some things are new, and some things are–you guessed it!–improved.

I think these three judges should have THEIR show canceled, frankly. Oh, don’t get me started. I always feel like I’m watching a different show than they are.

Vern raves some more about Trish’s hosting abilities. She can do no wrong. She is very polished, but also approachable. The camera just love-love-LOVES her.

They file back to the green room while the judges deliberate. No tears today–they’re all feeling pretty confident in the jobs they did.

Vern, Martha, and Cynthia deem these 3 the best contestants in DS history.

Seriously?

You have got to be kidding me. I wasn’t thrilled with any of their rooms. They’re so boring. There was nothing inspirational or exciting about any of them, except maybe the hand-painted vine pattern Jen did. Even though they were doing rooms for family members, they managed to suck the personality right out of them (out of the rooms, not the family members, just to be clear). The hotel room I’m staying in right now has more personality than the rooms they did.

I’m annoyed. I can’t help but think, “I took time out of my vacation for THIS?”

The judges are pretending to deliberate. Martha is stuck on the fact that Matt put those four black chairs in the room. She’s rooting for Jen, who is warm. Vern is smitten with Trish. Cynthia thinks Matt is the best. It appears to be a 3-way tie. The judges congratulate themselves once again on having chosen the best 3 contestants possible.

Which 2 will move forward into the final challenge?

Drumroll….and….whoa! It’s a shocker!

Trish’s show has been canceled.

I thought for sure they had already decided she and her fake hair were going to be crowned this year’s Design Star. I’m stunned by this turn of events.

She says she’s disappointed but if she has to go out on a challenge, this was a good one to go out on. They don’t even give her the dignity of an exit interview in the Service Elevator of Doom. It’s like Trish is already forgotten by the time the elevator door clangs shut.

Matt and Jen have made it to the final challenge. Matt feels like a million bucks. Jen knows her husband would be very proud. He’s been carrying their design firm for her while she’s been here. Clive wishes them luck. I wish them some fresh and new ideas so I don’t yawn through the finale like I did through this snooze-fest.

Are any of YOU still awake? Why do I have the feeling no one even bothered to read this all the way through? I’m tempted to make up a few things just to make the recap more exciting. Like, I should say that Trish’s fake ponytail got caught in the door of the Design Star van when she was out shopping. Or maybe the ghost made a reappearance and threw some of the boring accessories out of their rooms. Because, let’s face it, the lack of creativity in this season of Design Star is (in the words of Awesome Michael) Tragic. Capital T-ragic.

Next week: In their biggest challenge yet, they send the designers to help out two deserving families in New Orleans. It’s an emotional challenge in an amazing city, and we’ll choose who will be The Next. HGTV. Design Star.

Yeah, whatever. Wake me when it’s over.

P.S. Did anyone stick around afterwards to watch the premiere of the much-hyped show “The Stagers”? What did you think?

If You’re Hooked on Home-Improvement Television:

• Design Star Recap of Episode 6: The Dreaded Kitchen
• Design Star Recap of Episode 5: The Case of the Missing Sofa
• Design Star Recap of Episode 4: Taking the Plane to Nowhere
• Design Star Recap of Episode 3: Stand by Your (Haunted) Mansion
• Design Star Recap of Episode 2: Clive Was Just Kidding, You Guys!
• The Design Star 3 Premiere: Guts. Glory. Goofiness.
• Are You Flipping Out?
• The HGTV Green Home 2008 Has a Winner!
• Stephanie Dee Wins the HGTV Dream Home But Doesn’t Look All That Thrilled
• Can You Guess HGTV’s highest-rated show?
• Trading Spaces: Now and Then
• Bravo’s “Top Design” Gets New Host for Season 2

If You’re New Here: Hooked on Houses features decorating inspiration, celebrity house tours, fabulous before and afters, real estate news, fantasy open houses and more fun stuff. I love hearing from my readers, so I hope you’ll leave a comment and join the conversation!

My friend Cindy over at The Amateur Tightwad told me I had to check out Anna Maria Horner’s amazing kitchen makeover, and I’m so glad she did. Wait until you see what lies beyond those bright blue doors!

Have you heard of Anna Maria Horner yet? If not, you’re in for a treat. Anna Maria is a multitalented artist who designs colorful housewares, gift items, and textiles. Her sewing book Seams to Me hits bookshelves this fall. I asked her if I could show you guys her kitchen makeover, and she graciously agreed.

First, here’s the before photo of her kitchen:

It was seriously outdated and just kinda blah. Look how she transformed it into something warm, colorful, and inviting:

Peek outside the window and you’ll find her daughter reading on the sun room/patio:

The sun room is a lot of fun, too. We might as well have a look around!

I love her colorful artwork and pillows:

If I had an indoor-outdoor space like this, I’d never want to leave it. Although a kitchen like hers might entice me back inside!

Seams to Me is Anna Maria’s new book coming out in October. You can pre-order it here:

And be sure to check out her beautiful blog if you haven’t seen it yet. Anna Maria lives in Nashville with her husband and five children. You can read more about her creative projects here.

And with that, I’m off on a much-needed vacation. If I can get Internet connection on the road, I’ll try to check in and update the blog. It just might be more sporadic than usual.

Have a great weekend, everybody!

If You’re Hooked on Before & Afters:

• Bathroom Mirror Makeovers
• Home Office Makeover
• ’70s Kitchen Remodel
• A Colorful Kitchen Makeover
• Crown Molding Magic: Our Family Room Fireplace Makeover
  
• How to Give Old Appliances the Stainless-Steel Look
• Giving Old Fireplaces a New Look
• Giving an Old House a New Face with Curb Appeal
• My Writing Room Makeover
  

If You’re New Here: Hooked on Houses features decorating inspiration, celebrity house tours, fabulous before and afters, real estate news, fantasy open houses and more fun stuff. I love hearing from readers, so I hope you’ll leave a comment and join the conversation. To see what we’re talking about today, click the “Home” button at the top of the page.

I said I would. I did. And I still do. Here’s to another 20, and many more!

I realize that this has nothing to do with real estate, houses, or decorating, but I just have to mention that one of my favorite TV addictions, Project Runway, starts a new season tomorrow night on Bravo (Wednesday, July 16). This is a photo of the new cast. Have you missed Heidi Klum, Tim Gunn and the Gang as much as I have?

Design Star could learn a thing or two about staging reality competitions from Project Runway. Let’s hope the DS producers will be watching and taking notes for next season. Lesson number one: it’s all about the casting.

If you’re a PR addict, too, and you haven’t seen the website Blogging Project Runway yet, check it out. It has all the scoop on the new cast and who the guest judges will be this season.

Quick–who can mention the names of all four of the past seasons’ winners? Bonus points if you know who famously barked at her teammate, “I don’t care if you gotta cry and cut, but cry and cut. Don’t stop and cry–cry and WORK!”

Now, don’t get excited. This isn’t my hallway (I wish!), but one from the Sophia’s Harbor house at Homearama. This photo wall lent a personal touch to an impersonal house tour.

My photo wall along our upstairs hallway isn’t nearly as big, but I put together a smaller, cheaper version that I’m pretty pleased with.

Over at Restyled Home (one of my favorite blogs!), Linda is hosting a Perfectly Imperfect Week. Everyone is encouraged to show one of their less than ideal home projects. I decided to show you my humble photo wall project because I can just about guarantee that I spent only a tiny fraction of what the decorator shelled out for this home-show version.

I didn’t have a lot of money to spend on this project. After searching for weeks for affordable frames, I found a pile of them with white mats on a clearance shelf at Target. They were covered in red stickers and the final price was less than $2 for each. No kidding! I was so excited. I scooped up every single one they had.

The frames were dusty and a little beat up. Heck, they aren’t even metal–they’re plastic painted silver. Cheap-O, capital O. But I figured they would work in a pinch. This is just for an upstairs hallway, which is a less formal family space for us anyway. They don’t have to impress anybody.

I chose some of my favorite snapshots of my kids and had them printed out in black and white to fit the 5×7 and 8×10 frames. Then I hung them.

Voila! A photo wall completed in one weekend for less than $20 bucks.

The best part? Seeing these pictures makes me happy every time I walk up the stairs.

Have you done any projects around your house that are less than ideal but make you happy anyway? Join in the party! Go to Restyled Home for more details.

If You’re Hooked on Imperfection:

• My Real (Messy) Life
• Fugly Furniture: Vote for the Worst
• Just Say No: Rooms That Need Rehab
• More Rooms That Need Rehab

If You Missed the Homearama Fantasy Open House Series:

• Homearama!
• A Fine Room for Fido: It’s a Dog’s Life at Homearama!
• Fantasy Open House #1: The Sanctuary
• Fantasy Open House #2: The Manier Sherridan
• Fantasy Open House #3: The Hampton
• Fantasy Open House #4: Pavan Kunj
• Fantasy Open House #5: Sophia’s Harbor
• Fantasy Open House #6: The Artisan
• Fantasy Open House #7: Chanteau Tourelle
• At Homearama, Don’t Forget to Look Down

If You’re New Here: Hooked on Houses features decorating inspiration, celebrity house tours, fabulous before and afters, real estate news, fantasy open houses and more fun stuff. I love hearing from my readers, so I hope you’ll leave a comment and join the conversation!

Well, now that I have your attention with this screen shot of Mikey V, let’s start this week’s recap. In episode 6, our Designtestants must face The Dreaded Kitchen Challenge.

If you watched the first two seasons of Design Star, then you know that no team has ever completed a kitchen challenge in the time allotted. With only 2 full days to give a kitchen a complete remodel from floor to ceiling, it’s a disaster waiting to happen.

So, you know, there’s always plenty of drama. I can hardly wait!

First off, Trish tells us that she hurt herself on the first challenge when she was helping Jen and Stephanie move that tree table into the house. Remember that? I don’t. I mean, I remember they moved the table in, but did we know Trish hurt her finger?

Here’s the flashback of them carrying the table. Trish is bent over on the left, saying, “I’m fine! I’m fine!” When clearly, she wasn’t. I mean, her whole ring finger is red and puffy. So, obviously, she was NOT fine. Don’t be a hero, Trish!

Apparently it has been swelling up since then and now she can’t get her big honkin’ diamond ring off. Mikey V tried, but he couldn’t get it off, either. And he tried soap and everything, you guys.

Trish and Mikey spend an awful lot of time huddled together in the kitchen, working on this ring thing, and I start getting a little suspicious about Trish’s motives. “Oh, Mikey. I’m in so much pain. Can I put my head on your shoulder again?”

Look at all the fake hair she piled on today:

Clive appears in the kitchen and Mikey tells him he’s late. “I’m never late,” Clive says. “I’m British.”

They head to the workroom–you know that room where they never actually do any work. They stand in front of the paint cans and Clive asks, “Are you ready for The Dreaded Kitchen?” He tells them that they’ll be making over a kitchen for the Page family of Goodlettsville, Tennessee.

The gang will have a mere 24 hours and $10,000 to complete their task–and, oh, yeah, some appliances from Sears. Gotta get that endorsement in.

Who will be the team captain? They check their paint cans and Tracee’s got the lucky lid. Clive says, “It’s Team Tracee!”

Everyone sighs and rolls their eyes. Except for Mikey, who collapses in hysterical “I’m dyin’ here!” laughter. He tells the camera, “She’s the last person I wanted.” He’s never been a big fan of Tracey’s. Last week she totally messed up his POA when it came to shopping. And everyone knows you don’t mess with Mikey’s POA.

Tracee’s happy, though. She wanted to be team captain so she can show her stuff. Although she acknowledges that it could backfire on her if things go poorly.

Clive reminds them that this is about hosting as well as design. Also–dun-dun-dunnn–there will be TWO eliminations after this challenge instead of one. Two of the five contestants will be going home.

The Final Five meet the Page family in person and ask them what they’d like their kitchen to look like. Mrs. Page says she loves red–it’s her favorite color. Mr. Page tells them they HATE the paneling. Both agree that they would like some granite countertops.

And Mrs. Page adds that she’d really, really like some color on the backsplash. Something that would pop. Like, you know, TILE.

Clive tells the gang that their time starts now. They have 10 hours to work until he comes back with his little red air horn.

Trish immediately tells the group that the circulation in her finger is, like, nonexistent now. She’s got tingling going up to her wrist, and Mikey’s not even touching her. “We’ve got to call someone to get my ring cut off.”

Who do we call whenever we get rings stuck on our fingers? The Fire Department, of course! Isn’t that what they’re known for?

Man, the producers are playing this for all it’s worth. We’ve got a shot of the ambulance blaring its way toward the house, followed by a freakin’ fire engine. The guys are wearing all their gear. They’re totally prepared for a wedding ring emergency.

I love firefighters. Does anyone else watch “Rescue Me“? I’m sort of hoping that some of THOSE guys will get off the truck–guys like Franco and Sean and Tommy. That would certainly perk this episode up.

But no. These guys showed up instead:

Some scary old firefighter shows Trish his missing finger. “I got a ring stuck on my finger once,” he says. “Look what happened to me.”

Guh-ROSS.

Trish is not amused. And frankly, neither am I. Maybe I just don’t get firefighter humor.

The firefighters proceed to get down to business by pulling out the biggest, rustiest old pliers you’ve ever seen. I think this must be another bad joke, but they’re really trying to cram the things under her ring. She’s squealing, crying, “Ow-ow-ow!”

Jen asks, “Don’t you have a special tool for that?”

They firemen say, “You mean like a ring cutter? Yeah, we got a ring cutter.”

Trish says, “Use that, then, you idiots!” (I’m paraphrasing.) Amazingly, the special tool called a RING CUTTER works better than the rusty pliers. They finally get it off.

Whew. So Trish and her finger will live to decorate another day.

Now it’s time to get back to working on the kitchen. Tracee tries to get the gang to come together and create a plan for the room, but they seem more interested in getting right to work and letting her make all the decisions about the room on her own. They keep reminding her she is the Team Captain, so she should just decide what they’re going to do.

No, no, no. She wants it to be a GROUP EFFORT. Come on, guys! We have to talk about this! But they’re not really listening. They’re too busy dismantling the room.

She finally gets them to gather ’round long enough to argue over what to do about the backsplash. Mikey V wants to do tile. The other contestants remind him that the tile was what screwed up the teams in the past and kept them from finishing their kitchens on time. They don’t want to make the same mistake.

There is a Curse on Design Star Kitchen Challenges. There are flashbacks to past judging panels with Vern’s voice in a spooky echo as he says things like, “This is unacceptable.”

Look–he made Sparkle Josh cry!

Matt says he will not go for tile. “It’s the death knell for Design Star. It’s the harbinger of death. Whoever touched tile before went home.”

But Mikey V is frustrated because he really, really wants the homeowners to get that tile backsplash. He’s also frustrated that there is still no clear POA. He taps his watch impatiently. They’ve spent two whole hours talking about this so far and getting nowhere.

“Let’s go-go-go,” Mikey says. He wants to be the first Design Star team to get the kitchen done.

“It’s like they want to go-go-go,” Tracee tells us, “and I’m not comfortable with that. I don’t want to run a dictatorship here.” She wants it to be a team effort.

Finally, Matt and Tracee head off to Sears to order the appliances. The other three start working on the room, even though they admit they’re confused about the overall plan and what they’re doing. They start hanging drywall over the paneling. Mikey helps remove the old countertops as only Mikey can:

Tracee gets the appliances ordered, as well as some granite for the countertops. And before they know it, work day #1 is over.

Day #2: Tracee has everything mapped out on a detailed chart. Everyone has their job so it’ll run smoothly.

Tracee heads off in the Design Star van and tells us she’s going to try to be back with everything in three hours, but it’ll probably be four.

It ends up taking seven.

She adds:

Yeah, I don’t think they’ll even hesitate, Tracee.

The gang gets to work. Mikey takes charge of the power tools, as usual:

Jen says she’s hoping Tracee will shop fast but she isn’t hopeful. Sometimes she can overthink things too much.

Cut to Tracee shopping and appearing to be in no real hurry as she ponders everything she sees:

Clive checks in with the gang. “Where’s Tracee?” he asks. “Shopping,” they say. “How about the infamous tiling?” Clive asks. “According to Tracee’s chart, you should’ve finished tiling 6 minutes ago.” But they don’t even have the tile yet.

Ruh-roh.

Tracee eventually returns when it’s dark outside. “I had to go to 7 places,” she says. “Here’s the tile.” Mikey points out that she was gone for 7 hours and now there’s no time to hang the tile. Now they have no backsplash. Tracee says they’ll have to get creative. Getting creative turns out to mean, “painting the backsplash area brown.”

Clive reappears and time is up for the night.

It’s the final day. They have 2 hours to finish and then there will be 2 eliminations.

Enter Carter Oosterhouse, the host of “Carter Can.” Carter tells them that he’s done over 400 makeovers on TV and has never, ever failed to finish one in time.

They work feverishly to get it done and do Carter Oosterhouse proud. Clive reappears with the air horn and time is up. The challenge is over. They’re relieved that they actually finished it all, and Clive admits he’s surprised this bunch of losers season’s contestants actually pulled it off.

Tracee tells us “I feel wonderful deep down inside.” Well…good for her.

On to judging. Clive warbles, “Whose dream will end here tonight?”

Here’s the kitchen before:

And after:

Vern Yip starts off by saying he wants to 100% commend them for finishing for the first time in Design Star history.

BUT.

It’s completely boring.

Cynthia Rowley wants to know what those two little placemats are that are hanging from the window? Martha snaps that using accessories for punches of color is “so cliche and predictable.” Cynthia also wants to know, “Where’s the ideas? Where’s the inspiration? Where’s the wow factor?”

They show the reveal and the family is thrilled. “It’s so pretty! The floor is gorgeous! It’s open and inviting!”

However.

Mrs. Page points out that she really, really wanted a tile backsplash. Brown paint wasn’t exactly what she had in mind when she asked for “a pop of color.”

And let the weekly ritual of “throwing your fellow contestants under the bus” begin:

Tracee tries to blame the lack of a backsplash on “a little glitch with a medical situation.” Mikey V points out that the ring incident took all of 20 minutes and only involved Trish.

Martha says, Wait. Hold on. You’re telling me you called the Fire Department to cut your ring off? (My response exactly.)

The judges berate Tracee for failing to take responsibility week after week for her mistakes. She always seems to be blaming others.

Now it’s time to judge the contestants on their hosting abilities. Matt is the first one up. I think he does pretty well, but Martha says he sounds “too monotone.”

Trish’s turn. Vern says he couldn’t grin any bigger. He thinks she’s completely engaging.

Really? Is anyone else surprised by this? I mean, she was okay, but why do the judges love her so much?

Mikey’s turn. He ends his clip with his trademark, “Don’t forget–I’m Mikey V!” I’m thinking he needs a new trademark.

Vern points out that he still comes across as being “super nervous.” Martha complains that he doesn’t make eye contact.

(Has everyone been following the brouhaha over Mikey V on the Internet? Apparently some old photos…of an indecent nature…have surfaced. The message boards on HGTV are going nuts. No one knows for sure if the photos are really of him, however. HGTV claims it is “looking into the matter.” Stay tuned.)

Tracee does her schtick for the camera. First she points to the granite countertops and says, “You can do a simulated laminate look, too.” Huh? Is granite-looking laminate just as good? I don’t think so. I mean, laminate is what they just took out of there, right?

Then she points to the cabinets and says: “Also, painting your countertops is very inexpensive.”

I think she meant painting your cabinets. Oops.

This is where Design Star drives me crazy. None of the judges mentions this gaffe. Vern simply gushes that she “looks great on TV” and is “very telegenic.” I thought she seemed really stilted and awkward. She seems to have trouble talking on the fly.

Finally, Jen does her thing, and it’s totally unmemorable. I think she compares brown granite countertops to a little black dress hanging in your closet…or something. Cynthia Rowley (who is a fashion designer) thinks it’s brilliant, though.

Back to the green room for the contestants while the judges deliberate. The judges agree that this is, literally, the most boring kitchen they’ve ever seen.

Matt isn’t happy with the judges’ reactions to their kitchen re-do:

I think this is the first week they’ve gotten through the green room without a single tear being shed. Tracee looked like she might lose it any minute, though.

The judges have an intellectual discussion about the kitchen, which basically goes like this:

Yeah. That sums it up.

The Designtestants are brought back in to face the judges. Without further ado, Clive sends Tracee packing:

Tracee steps bravely into the Service Elevator of Doom with one final, jaunty wave. She bursts into tears after the door creaks shut and says she has no idea what’s going to happen now. I wonder if she’s worried about where this elevator is taking her? I know I would be.

She’s determined to go out with class and style. That’s just the kind of lady she is. She says that at home she has a family who supports her, clients who love her, and employees who like her. “THESE PEOPLE (she’s looking at you, Jen, Trish, Mikey and Matt) JUST DON’T MEAN CRAP TO ME.”

She wraps things up by letting us know she’s sick of being around a lot of ignoramouses. Who needs ‘em?

Back at judging, Clive tells Jen and Trish they’re safe this week. “Keep up the good work.”

But Mikey isn’t so lucky. Clive says he still hasn’t warmed up to the camera. He lacks the necessary hosting skills needed to be a true Design Star.

Mikey’s show has been canceled.

Poor Mikey. He worked so hard this week, too! He follows Tracee into the Service Elevator of Doom.

He’s disappointed. It stinks. Back to the streets and his patrol car, he says.

And then there were three: Matt, Jen, and Trish.

What did you think of this week’s episode? Did you like the kitchen any better than the judges did? Do you think the right people went home? Can you muster any excitement over a show hosted by Jen, Trish, or Matt?

If You’re Hooked on Home-Improvement Television:

• Design Star Recap of Episode 5: The Case of the Missing Sofa
• Design Star Recap of Episode 4: Taking the Plane to Nowhere
• Design Star Recap of Episode 3: Stand by Your (Haunted) Mansion
• Design Star Recap of Episode 2: Clive Was Just Kidding, You Guys!
• The Design Star 3 Premiere: Guts. Glory. Goofiness.
• Are You Flipping Out?
• The HGTV Green Home 2008 Has a Winner!
• Stephanie Dee Wins the HGTV Dream Home But Doesn’t Look All That Thrilled
• Can You Guess HGTV’s highest-rated show?
• Trading Spaces: Now and Then
• Bravo’s “Top Design” Gets New Host for Season 2

If You’re New Here: Hooked on Houses features decorating inspiration, celebrity house tours, fabulous before and afters, real estate news, fantasy open houses and more fun stuff. I love hearing from my readers, so I hope you’ll leave a comment and join the conversation!